Bhagavad Gita

Finally! The 1,000+ page book is finished! It took me an entire year to complete.  Sadly, I can not say that this book was expertly evaluated and thoroughly studied. I just read through it when time permitted. The Bhagavad-Gita has transformed the way I process my thoughts. 

The book that took me a year to finish.

The Bhagavad-Gita demystified by Swami Nithyananda is an interpretation of a famous Hindu scripture. Swami Nithyananda interprets the verses with anecdotes that help the reader understand the language and meaning of the historic battle between two families. 

 The verses alone are available online, even on an apple application. But the interpretation that the Swami gives helps to better explain the concepts that are perfectly woven throughout the story. This book is one of my all time favorites. 

The author is engaging and authentic within the contexts he is expressing. He was India-centered, but the author and the story are both from India. 

No, I am not going to become a Hindu or a Krishna devotee after reading this mind altering book. I have become a lot more thoughtful and clear headed because of Arjuna's, the protagonist in the story, growth process throughout the story. The collective consciousness was demonstrated to him by Krishna, but not before learning universal truths from the hindu god. 

Yes, I will re-read the book because of it's universal truths. This book asks you to live without greed, deception, gluttony, obsession, possession, and without bondage. Being bound by your ego does not let you reach enlightenment. This book expresses that the path to enlightenment is open to everybody and there are many different way's of reaching that destination. Letting go of Ego is key and the book explains how to do this. 

The following are the conscious efforts I will practice for the following 20 days:

1. Daily Yoga Sequence: 
1. Surya namaskara (5), 
2.  Down Dog, 
3. Right knee to nose, right elbow, left elbow
4. Warrior I on right leg
5. Warrior II
6. Side Angle pose
7. Reverse warrior
8. Warrior II
9. Warrior I
10. High lunge
11. vinyasa
12. lizard
13. Crescent moon with Quad Stretch
14. cat and cow
15. Do same routine but with other leg
16. Staff pose
17. Paschmottanasana
18. End with kindness meditation
2. Running a mile and a half a day and take baby to the park.
3. Organizing my time to juice and fit greens into life again.
4. Complete final books for Yoga training.
5. Assist three times a week to complete yoga training.

These are only five goals I've set. These goals are not the answer to living in the now, or removing ego. They will help me complete the goals I've set in the past and set up a dependable routine that has been missing in my life. 

If these goals are reached within the twenty day's the only thing I hope to change after that are the daily sequences that I practice. 

 

Hiatus

When cooking, some people prepare everything before hand, while other's just throw stuff in a pot.
In some cases you either fail, and the dish is disgusting, or you succeed.

This is also the way it is in life.
You work and work at something. You feel that you took all the right steps, only to watch your desires fall through, leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
Sometimes people fall into an amazing experience of happiness, wealth, health and joy, without going to college, having a plan, or even a goal.

These past few months, I've been preparing and arranging and rearranging. It's too early to say that I have failed. I completed the meditation practice, the mindfulness retreat and I feel wonderful.
The skills I need to better my thoughts and actions have been given to me through planning and follow through: Plan to exercise and meditate. Plan to make space for peace and kindness. The follow through happened very steadily in the beginning. Now it's waning off.

The holiday's bring with it travel, family, love and distraction.
Yes! I used the big turkey and the big beautiful, luscious ham to distract me during the Thanksgiving weekend.  Making the follow through less of a daily practice. But, I did not gorge myself on sweets like the previous Thanksgiving celebrations. I would love to take full credit for that, but I can't.
It was all the planning.

The planning is easy. Thinking in the now is still extremely difficult. It sounds as if though it would be easy to follow. Who doesn't want to live in the now? I know I can figure this out. Next blog, I'll have a systematic "living in the now" search and rescue plan. Trial and errors included.

Ego

The main goal in Yoga is to extinguish your Ego so as to become unbounded consciousness.

Yes, Yoga had an Ego even before Fraud did. It's the "I" in all you do. You need to get rid of your "I" to become fully aware. This is a cliff note explanation. If you want a much more thorough understanding read: The Bhagavad-Gita, or The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

This week has been a whirlwind of "I-ness."

The mindfulness retreat that I joined is excellent. It is reminding me that in order to be less egotistic, I have to take time for myself. Meditate, relax, and organize some thoughts in my head.

Hunter had a few guests, and introduced us to a wonderful practice. The guest interviews reminded the group that we need to practice our mindfulness before we can expect to achieve a result.

Everything requires practice.

The Deepak Chopra meditation experience is getting me closer to my meditation goals.

It's still not easy to blank my mind out and think about the mantra. There are a few reasons for this: The mantra is in sanskrit. It's said that just by speaking sanskrit your soul will be uplifted due to the beauty and expression of it's poetic sound. I know two languages: Spanish and English. That still doesn't help with the mantra. Every time I use the mantra, I forget what it means! I understand that the definition of the mantra does not matter, as long as you decrease your thoughts per minute when meditating. It's just that not knowing what I'm chanting in my head bugs the hell out of me.



Practice, Practice, Practice. That will fix the bugs.


This week I completed a day of review for my yoga training. The day was nice. My ego sky rocketed when I was able to assist in a handstand. Ha! Handstands are dangerous and if you don't assist right, you can hurt yourself and the student. Thankfully none of that happened during the periods I was incorrectly assisting that night! :P

The Live in the Now (LITN) program is not doing so well. I'm positive it's because I've added too many activities to my day. I've stayed so busy that I'm still making bad food choices.


Even my juicing was a bad decision:
What I juiced this morning was not appetizing. It was a disgusting green packed juice! Cucumbers, Celery, green bell pepper, apple, Carrot, Beets, and turmeric.
I didn't realize that taking a break from juicing would change your taste buds!
I wanted to add a dash of turmeric to the juice, but accidentally dropped a few tablespoons into my 12oz glass.
I'm hoping that my healthy-food-loving taste buds are intact and the accidental turmeric spill was the cause of the juice fiasco.
I'll attempt a better juice concoction tomorrow. It will be my breakfast replacement.



My ego is still an evil anchor for my goals, even so: it's a bountiful time for mindfulness and I'm going to try to slow down and piece what I'm learning together. That's what mindfulness is all about anyway, slowing down and being kind.

First Day

I feel victorious.

Today my mindfulness was achieved during driving and breastfeeding!

The whole time I was driving I was completely mindful. While breastfeeding my mind still started to plan away, and I day dreamed a little. It was only a little so, it still counts! Because of this success, I'm going to continue to work on completing two mindful moments throughout the rest of the week.

Today was my success day!

I was able to complete the first day of a free 21 day meditation practice

During the time my husband and daughter slept I did a very short yoga asana sequence:

3 sun salutations,
warrior two on right side,
side angle pose on right side,
a vinyasa flow
warrior two on left side,
side angle pose on left side,
vinyasa flow,
and a few cat and cows.


My belly dancing practice is back in action. I contacted Andalee to ask her about my belly dance musicality needs and she replied! I'm super stoked! I've really been wanting to learn more about the rhythms of all belly dancing music.

Remember that podcast I was listening to? If not, it's called: "Yoga Stories Project." The producer is offering a free 14 day virtual mindfulness retreat!


I'm extremely thankful to have found all of these resources during this Mindfulness quest!

I'm going to continue Living in the now (LITN) for a while until I get it down.
I'd like the LITN event's to be more frequent and lengthy as time goes on.

Living in the Now

I ran a red light tonight. 

Thankfully, there were no cops around and I did not hit another car. 

Living in the now definitely needs some work. 

I ran the light because I was listening to a podcast and started to drift off into the imagery of the story. This is my first week listening to podcasts, due to the new iOS upgrade. I never thought it would affect my driving! In the past I would listen to audio books during long drives, and this situation never occurred. Yes, at the time I did not have a one year old, but this was only a podcast! It's only 44 minutes of mindfulness. Haha. I once again seemed to turn it into mindlessness. 

 

 It's not the easiest thing to find a good podcast. Especially when you want interesting podcasts on mindfulness, yoga, buddhism, or positive parenting. I've been through a few already. The one that I was listening to is called: Yoga Stories. It's the best podcast I've found so far.

Well, after I ran the light, I did not turn off the podcast. I just made sure to remember that I am not in a lecture hall, I'm driving! 

I feel as if though I am running my own personal red lights, now more than ever. 

It's so easy to become a media and electronic junky even though you have more important things at hand. Goals keep getting pushed back. Hulu and Facebook seem more appealing then small moments of self improvement. Yes, sometimes I'd rather watch Modern Family rather than wash my face. It's sad (and disgusting), but true.

 

These new habits are affecting the minimal time I have to spend on correcting and improving old habits. I have even avoided the mindfulness goals I set previously.

So, I'm going to blog the different mindfulness habits until they are perfected.

Living in the now is a tough one.

It's tough, and I will have to work on this for the rest of my life. Ay.

This is my Living in the Now (LITN) plan:

Be AWARE

-Emerse myself in the activity at hand. 

- Forget about tomorrow and yesterday.

-Pay attention to feelings, sensations, thoughts and actions. 

-dont drift off into oblivion

How is this going to happen exactly? Practice. I have this lovely application on my iPad called inkflow. It allows you to take pictures and write or type on them. It's so helpful when note taking. Inkflow will be my documenting tool. There are many activities and events in a day making it impossible to log every single situation.  I will set my goal to two LITN a day and increase it after I notice I'm improving.

This sounds easy. I'll keep you posted on the results. 

 

De-railed

It's harder to be mindful then you'd think.

Just having a mind is not enough.

This strategy is amazing. I really love it. The only problem is, it's stuck in my blog.

I have to go back and remember each mindful list. There are only four rules that I have to follow, yet they are still rules! Rules can be easy to forget, especially, when you think you're a rebel.
It's not just that i'm trying to be a rebel, it's also easier to live my life without change.

Here are the bad news:

I have not juiced in months, I'm making pies ('tis the season) and I'm taking rule number three (denying yourself fosters want) too seriously.

Good news:
I've started using my nutri-bullet for smoothies instead of margaritas and I'm making smoothie pops.


The bad news is always longer than the good news. I have omitted a lot of information from the bad news. The third part is an umbrella story that covers all of the traitorous things I have done to my goal and body. I'm leaving it that way. I'm tired of blogging about failure.

I really have not changed my bad habits. I have meditated for a while, but not twice a day for ten minutes. I meditated for seven minutes and stopped because I thought that was good enough for the first time.
I still find it easier to cook the same old foods, and go out in search of the things I want to eat when I want to eat them. It's also easier to say yes to treats at parties and functions when you have rule number three. Hehe.  I love that rule.

I have taken a picture of my rules. I will memorize them by reading them every chance I get. There are only four rules and I've already memorized rule number three, so the rest should be easier.

I'm serious about this change. I'll remain positive and I hope to post a load of good news in the next blog. :P

Mindfulness

When living in a house hold with eight other children, you learn: to eat fast, grab what you can get, share, and always finish what's on your plate. 

Throughout my adult years, I have taught myself to eat slowly. That's about it. The other meal time issues need a lot of work. 

I'm always grabbing two doughnuts, cutting them in half so that I could sample both. To me, this means, I share. Now, sharing is a good meal and all time habit. I've never read a book on etiquette,  but when you share in this way (i'm sure) it's not polite. It's not nice to take a bite out of something and then offer it to somebody else, either.  

Mindfulness needs to be introduced so that I can return to eating healthier and to kick these bad habits. 

This is how the mindfulness is going to help me:

1. Living in the now: I have to forget what I ate in the past. No, this does not mean forget the calorie intakes you've eaten within the same day! Just forget about yesterday. Focus on what I'm eating at that moment. It also means that I can not think about tomorrow and what I will be eating then. Notice what you're eating and how much. If you're coming to the point of over eating, stop yourself before you do. Be aware. 
2. Let go of all fantasies and desires: I can't fantasize about an ice cream cone when i'm having a delicious salad. I also have to stop wanting what I don't have. If i do not have ice cream at hand, don't wish for it. Then I won't go to the store and buy the snack.
3. Denying yourself fosters want: When there is ice cream present, don't deny yourself. Enjoy it. Also, I can not tell myself I can not have ice cream. I have to think: " i can have a frozen smoothie whenever I feel like it." Stating that I can not have ice cream will keep ice cream on my mind.
4. You are enough: I do not need these outside treats to make me happy. 

I am also going to add a twenty minute meditation. Ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes at night. I will meditate on a mantra that will help me become a better person. I will remove the old bad habits, as well as the new. My mantra will be: "I am healthy."

I've got ancient theories on my side here. This is bound to help! 

Honesty

Maybe confessing was not the catharsis that I needed to purge myself from ice cream.

Confessing only blasted my lack of will power to the world.

I could delete the post, hide it in the void of electronic heaven, but that would not be true. 

I must be honest with myself.

As a student of yoga, I'm learning many old and interesting (wise) beliefs. The one that has struck me the most is where you have to look inside to find the answers to consciousness. If I try to look inside i'm sure I will see large areas of white (because that's what fat looks like in film).  Meditating is one way to look inside, unfortunately meditation takes time.

When the books that I'm reading feed my mind with great ideas I want to look for more books to explain the topics they mention.

Mindfulness is one of the main points these texts are expressing.  

Today, I visited the library to find a book on mindfulness eating. Yes, I know, I could have bought a book on Amazon. I found one in the library catalog, so no need. I ran to borrow it, because the catalog read: available. 

I dragged my poor little baby to the library. Instead of looking for the book first, I took her to the children's section and she walked around for a while. When it was time to look for my book it wasn't on the shelf. My baby was wailing and all the people in the library were looking at me as if though i was torturing my child. The librarians could not help me. The book was gone.

The search was more mindless than mindful. I'm not going to buy the book. I'm going to listen to the wise words that the current (1452 page) book I'm reading offers.

Here are the main mindfulness points that I've understood so far:

• live in the now
• let go of all fantasies and desires
• denying yourself fosters want
• you are enough

Yes, all of these points have been mentioned before in our lives. I've heard them many times.

When you put them all together and decide to use them instantaniously, now that's powerful and helpful. 

I have not had ice cream since I've fallen off the wagon. I even walked passed a whole freezer full of gelato and kept on going. My head did a slow and steady turn as i kept gazing at the ice cream, but i kept going.  

I just have to keep going with these points and see how far I can go. Maybe I will earn my self proclaimed Yogi Han title. We will see.

Confessional

The blog is not as mighty as the pen!

Not only did I eat Ice Cream, but I devoured a double cone and requested it in my coffee!

I need a new strategy. What type of fitness nut am I if I can't even say no to Ice Cream? 

This is how it went down:

First downfall: 

            Location: Wienerschnitzel. 

            Crime: Ice cream cone.

            Details:Being the great aunt and sister that I am, I called my sister and asked her what they wanted from the drive thru. My nephew asked for an ice cream cone. I ordered my meal, and other requests, then pulled up into the drive thru. There was still one person ahead of me, so the cashier walked out of the shop and handed the ice cream cone to me! I couldn't say, "take it back lady! I've vowed to never eat Ice Cream again!" Needless to say, I inhaled the ice cream cone there and then. Yes, my nephew got a new cone. I'm not a monster.

Second downfall:

  

          Location:  My mother in law's house. 

          Crime: Double ice cream cone.

          Details:The girls and I were busy making delicacies when the ice cream man rang his pretty little devilish song. It's the kind of song that will make children run in traffic. This song is like a siren that welcomes you in and then turns you into an obese human being when you least expect it! There's another catch: The Ice Cream Truck. It's not your typical ice cream truck. They sell soft serve! YES! S-o-f-t s-e-r-v-e. They also give it to you in a double cone, if you ask for it. It's a monstrosity of a cone, but you love it once you've had one. I asked for it. I don't regret it.

Third downfall:

          Location: The last game of the season at the Dodger stadium.

          Crime: Ice Cream in coffee.

          Details: At the concession stand I ordered coffee. The cashier handed me a black coffee. I just started drinking coffee after having my first child last year. There is no way I was drinking it black. The cashier directed me to the island with the condiments. There was no creamer! Packets of sugar and ketchup were everywhere, but the creamer? No where in sight. I did not stand in line. No, instead I waited for the cashier to complete the next transaction. She didn't pay attention to me. The next sales clerk that walked next to me heard my, "excuse me?" I let them know that there was no creamer and asked them if i could have some ice cream instead. Of course, I asked them how much it would be. She spoke to the cashier who was too busy to look in my direction. That cashier very sweetly took my cup and poured soft serve ice cream directly into my coffee cup. I WAS IN HEAVEN!

This was all free of charge. She even offered to give me a spoon! I declined. It was the best tasting coffee in my life. 

I was the perpetrator in every one of these incidents, I confess. I have not curbed my habit of crazy ice cream love. In my defense, I have not forced my husband to bring me ice cream in the middle of the night, or thrown a tantrum for ice cream. It's still not a good sign that I can't resist that creamy icy delight. 

My new strategy to reach this goal needs time to develop. 

Night writer

Writing at night is a lot different than writing in the morning.

At night it's dark, scary and I feel like a creeper. The glow of the lap top (not even a warm glow) is the only thing that's keeping me company. Because it's night, I feel that I'm being sneaky and even the tapping of the keyboard is making me paranoid. My thoughts are heavy and accomplishments seem far out of reach.

When I write in the morning, the feelings are light and airy, it's bright outside and inside. It brings a breath of life that's missing in the evenings. I've also just had coffee.


Now it's night time. I don't feel heavy or gloomy instead, I'm happy because I've kept up my no-ice-cream goal. I even added a no Starbucks one. It's easy to follow. Every time I drive past a Starbucks, I quickly remember my goal and say: NO! You don't need it!
 I don't have fruit on hand so, i can't replace it with fruit. I have to use my own will. It's not a powerful will but, it's one that's been blogged.

Ah. The power of the blog. It used to be the power of the pen. Once you start writing your goals and dreams down, you have to reach them. Integrity and tangible stuff makes this possible.

The fact that I have a meal plan is, also, keeping me from pigging out on rocky road. I'm not saying, I'm eating healthy. I'm just saying: I'm not eating ice cream (the culprit of the toddler tantrums).

Hooray!

Soon, I will once again eat healthy. No more greasy burgers, no more bags of cheese puffs. It's only a matter of time. How exciting! I hopefully wish to return to my healthy cardiovascular and low "bad lipid" levels, as well.

I guess I am cheery when writing at night. No coffee is needed when the elation of reaching a goal is near. Maybe I should set micro goals more often.

Good night.

Ice Cream

As I was listening to a positive discipline recording to help my toddler, I realized I have allowed myself to become a toddler. Yes, I have compulsions I can not control.
I want ICE CREAM! I throw tantrums to get it. Since I am an adult, I also buy ice cream myself. It's more fun to make my husband do it (even though I know I shouldn't).

Ice Cream has become my escape. I wish I could relate to Sara McLachlan and sultrily sing to my husband that, "his love is better than Ice Cream." Right now, nothing is better than Ice Cream.

My daughter is now one and I still can't get myself into the old habits of working off my frustrations, upsets, disillusions, petty thoughts and occasional bouts of fatty foods. I've read numerous books and watched videos on how to exercise with your baby but, I can't do it. I don't feel connected to my daughter. I feel as if though I'm using her as a tool.

Ok. Ok. That's a lie. The truth is: I am so out of shape. I get tired after a few minutes and I use her as an excuse to get out of the exercise. Oh, the shame!

I have the answer to stop this madness but, I have to want to commit.

Today I am going to take one small step towards abandoning the obsession with Ice Cream.
I'm going to set a goal.

Goal #1: Replace Ice Cream with fruit.

That's my goal.

I always have plenty of fruit handy. I have to stuff it in the freezer so that it won't go bad after I've chosen sweets for the millionth time. Now, I won't have to.

I hope I can reach this goal. Wish me luck!