Confessional

The blog is not as mighty as the pen!

Not only did I eat Ice Cream, but I devoured a double cone and requested it in my coffee!

I need a new strategy. What type of fitness nut am I if I can't even say no to Ice Cream? 

This is how it went down:

First downfall: 

            Location: Wienerschnitzel. 

            Crime: Ice cream cone.

            Details:Being the great aunt and sister that I am, I called my sister and asked her what they wanted from the drive thru. My nephew asked for an ice cream cone. I ordered my meal, and other requests, then pulled up into the drive thru. There was still one person ahead of me, so the cashier walked out of the shop and handed the ice cream cone to me! I couldn't say, "take it back lady! I've vowed to never eat Ice Cream again!" Needless to say, I inhaled the ice cream cone there and then. Yes, my nephew got a new cone. I'm not a monster.

Second downfall:

  

          Location:  My mother in law's house. 

          Crime: Double ice cream cone.

          Details:The girls and I were busy making delicacies when the ice cream man rang his pretty little devilish song. It's the kind of song that will make children run in traffic. This song is like a siren that welcomes you in and then turns you into an obese human being when you least expect it! There's another catch: The Ice Cream Truck. It's not your typical ice cream truck. They sell soft serve! YES! S-o-f-t s-e-r-v-e. They also give it to you in a double cone, if you ask for it. It's a monstrosity of a cone, but you love it once you've had one. I asked for it. I don't regret it.

Third downfall:

          Location: The last game of the season at the Dodger stadium.

          Crime: Ice Cream in coffee.

          Details: At the concession stand I ordered coffee. The cashier handed me a black coffee. I just started drinking coffee after having my first child last year. There is no way I was drinking it black. The cashier directed me to the island with the condiments. There was no creamer! Packets of sugar and ketchup were everywhere, but the creamer? No where in sight. I did not stand in line. No, instead I waited for the cashier to complete the next transaction. She didn't pay attention to me. The next sales clerk that walked next to me heard my, "excuse me?" I let them know that there was no creamer and asked them if i could have some ice cream instead. Of course, I asked them how much it would be. She spoke to the cashier who was too busy to look in my direction. That cashier very sweetly took my cup and poured soft serve ice cream directly into my coffee cup. I WAS IN HEAVEN!

This was all free of charge. She even offered to give me a spoon! I declined. It was the best tasting coffee in my life. 

I was the perpetrator in every one of these incidents, I confess. I have not curbed my habit of crazy ice cream love. In my defense, I have not forced my husband to bring me ice cream in the middle of the night, or thrown a tantrum for ice cream. It's still not a good sign that I can't resist that creamy icy delight. 

My new strategy to reach this goal needs time to develop. 

Night writer

Writing at night is a lot different than writing in the morning.

At night it's dark, scary and I feel like a creeper. The glow of the lap top (not even a warm glow) is the only thing that's keeping me company. Because it's night, I feel that I'm being sneaky and even the tapping of the keyboard is making me paranoid. My thoughts are heavy and accomplishments seem far out of reach.

When I write in the morning, the feelings are light and airy, it's bright outside and inside. It brings a breath of life that's missing in the evenings. I've also just had coffee.


Now it's night time. I don't feel heavy or gloomy instead, I'm happy because I've kept up my no-ice-cream goal. I even added a no Starbucks one. It's easy to follow. Every time I drive past a Starbucks, I quickly remember my goal and say: NO! You don't need it!
 I don't have fruit on hand so, i can't replace it with fruit. I have to use my own will. It's not a powerful will but, it's one that's been blogged.

Ah. The power of the blog. It used to be the power of the pen. Once you start writing your goals and dreams down, you have to reach them. Integrity and tangible stuff makes this possible.

The fact that I have a meal plan is, also, keeping me from pigging out on rocky road. I'm not saying, I'm eating healthy. I'm just saying: I'm not eating ice cream (the culprit of the toddler tantrums).

Hooray!

Soon, I will once again eat healthy. No more greasy burgers, no more bags of cheese puffs. It's only a matter of time. How exciting! I hopefully wish to return to my healthy cardiovascular and low "bad lipid" levels, as well.

I guess I am cheery when writing at night. No coffee is needed when the elation of reaching a goal is near. Maybe I should set micro goals more often.

Good night.

Ice Cream

As I was listening to a positive discipline recording to help my toddler, I realized I have allowed myself to become a toddler. Yes, I have compulsions I can not control.
I want ICE CREAM! I throw tantrums to get it. Since I am an adult, I also buy ice cream myself. It's more fun to make my husband do it (even though I know I shouldn't).

Ice Cream has become my escape. I wish I could relate to Sara McLachlan and sultrily sing to my husband that, "his love is better than Ice Cream." Right now, nothing is better than Ice Cream.

My daughter is now one and I still can't get myself into the old habits of working off my frustrations, upsets, disillusions, petty thoughts and occasional bouts of fatty foods. I've read numerous books and watched videos on how to exercise with your baby but, I can't do it. I don't feel connected to my daughter. I feel as if though I'm using her as a tool.

Ok. Ok. That's a lie. The truth is: I am so out of shape. I get tired after a few minutes and I use her as an excuse to get out of the exercise. Oh, the shame!

I have the answer to stop this madness but, I have to want to commit.

Today I am going to take one small step towards abandoning the obsession with Ice Cream.
I'm going to set a goal.

Goal #1: Replace Ice Cream with fruit.

That's my goal.

I always have plenty of fruit handy. I have to stuff it in the freezer so that it won't go bad after I've chosen sweets for the millionth time. Now, I won't have to.

I hope I can reach this goal. Wish me luck!